“I was a single dad with children and I remarried – I should have spotted the warning signs. Whenever anything went wrong, she’d blame me. It turned into a living nightmare within a year of being married. She took every opportunity to belittle me.
It turned into a living nightmare within a year of being married. She took every opportunity to belittle me.
When in a temper she often hit me but never on the face. I thought I deserved it because I was withdrawn and a bad husband – that’s what she kept saying. She forced me to have sex to become a good husband for her. I couldn’t leave because that would have meant leaving my children.
I tried to tell people but they thought it was my fault, I felt abandoned by everyone except the kids. When my wife finally left me everyone said the breakup was my fault. I didn’t tell anyone what really happened until years later when I became depressed and I spoke with a counsellor. The counsellor was good because she helped me see that it was abuse. She used the word ‘rape’ and I now know that’s what it was like in the bedroom. I hadn’t seen it like that before.”