Katherine’s Story

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“I lived in a violent marriage for years. I was very naive at first and really didn’t know people like him existed. He would kick me, slap me, push me, trip me over, throw things at me, stand on my feet, yell abuse, call me names like ‘social cripple’, the list goes on and on, but he never punched me.”

Life was continous hell, fear and horror and he always blamed the children or me for his violence.

In fact he would say to people that he couldn’t stand ‘wife bashers’. He would tell me that he didn’t want the children to play with so and so’s children because they were a bad influence.

He tried to isolate us from all those who loved us and new people we met would go through character assasinations by him. Life was continous hell, fear and horror and he always blamed the children or me for his violence.

Things got a lot worse towards the end. He would threaten to run us all off the road in the car and kill us. The violence became a daily occurance if not several episodes a day.”

How the situation changed

When his violence became much worse and was being directed at the children I changed. I began to read about self esteem and positive affirmations. I contacted a friend I used to know who worked in a Woman’s Centre and speaking to her made me realise we were not alone. Finally I began to see the reality of what was happening. When we left I believed he was going to kill us.

What helped me

The support and understanding and sharing of experiences. Counselling, and I have done some violence recovery and self confidence courses. When the Family Court recognised what hell we went through and ordered absolute no contact for him with my children, was a big turning point in my healing. Good friends and family have been wonderful as well.

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